


Too much too fast

by Princex_N



Series: Autistic!Homestuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aspie!Dirk, Autism, Gen, Sensory Overload, Stimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2307353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Dirk Strider and somehow along the way you had forgotten that people made noise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too much too fast

Your name is Dirk Strider and somehow along the way you had forgotten that people made noise. 

They make so much fucking noise all the fucking time. They do not stop, they haven't stopped talking for hours and you feel like you're about to lose your mind. Roxy keeps touching you, leaning up against your side, running her fingers through your hair, her fingers are sticky and the texture sticks to your skin and you can  _feel_ it even after she takes her hands and keeps them to herself for a short period of time. 

You love Jane's laugh, it's adorable. But she keeps doing it and it's so fucking loud, it was cute the first few times, but now hearing it makes you flinch. You don't want to tell her to shut up because you know that it's rude, but that doesn't change the fact that you really fucking want to tell her to shut up. All of the noise is making your entire body feel unsettled and  _wrong_ and you just, can't.

Your house was quiet. It was quiet and you didn't touch anything if you didn't want to touch anything and it was all cool, but now you're here, and it's great that you can see your friends even though you have no  _fucking_ idea how to talk to them, but it's still cool but it's  _too much_. 

"Dirk?" Jake asks you, and his voice is  _grating_ , "Are you quite alright?" 

You force your eyes open and you have never been so grateful for your shades because you really don't think you'd be able to cope with the light alongside all of this bullshit. it slowly registers that you're rocking from side to side, your hands are flapping hard enough that you can hear your joints creaking. You don't understand what the problem is, why the fuck  _wouldn't_ you be okay, you're not the one with the problem they are because they talk too loud it is official. 

You try to say something, but nothing comes out of your mouth but a long drawn out noise, somewhere between a whine and a hum. You don't like the noise and you stop making it, but that doesn't mean you stop moving. You know that they're all looking at you weird, but you don't give two shits, the moving is helping, you're not going to sit still. 

Roxy laughs, and you swear to god, but then she goes further, she puts her hand on your head and ruffles your hair again and says, "He's jus' doin' his aspie-thing." and you just... snap. 

You can't speak, so instead you just make the first noise that pops into your head. It's a seagull, you've spent years making this noise for kicks but now it sounds sharp and angry on your tongue, and you feel like it accurately describes how you're feeling, so you make it again. Jane is the one that hastily drags Roxy away from you, and you decide that once you get a hold of yourself, you're going to thank her. 

But right now you're still caught in a loop of repetitive motions and so you put the thought on hold. You can hear them talking, but it's really more of a mutter now, and so it's better. You keep moving, and then you finally get calm enough that you can slow down. Then you find it in yourself to put your hands down, but you keep up a slow and steady rocking, just because it's nice. 

The first thing you do is mess around in your sylladex a bit until you find Li'l Cal, his presence and weight in your lap is amazingly comforting. Then you turn to face your friends, and you say, "Sorry," softly. 

Jane hurries forward, but she leaves a large amount of space in between the two of you and damn you really need to thank this girl, "Oh, don't be sorry!" she admonishes gently, "But, um, are you... autistic?"

She says it like it's a bad thing, but you're pretty sure she doesn't mean it like it is. You nod, you'd found it out a few years back, when you were telling Roxy that sometimes the sound and feel of metal hurt you and she told you she didn't understand what you were talking about even a little bit. It didn't take very much digging on the internet to find out that you were a lot more different than you thought you were, but you honestly can't say that you mind it too much, most of the time. 

"You know we don't have a problem with it, right?" she asks, and you shrug. 

"Yeah, obviously. Of course I know that you guys are all great." Jane looks relieved, Jake looks a little uncomfortable, and Roxy still looks drunk. She's the least surprised out of everyone, of course she is, you told her first. 

Everything goes pretty much back to the way it was after that, except everyone talks quieter and people make sure not to touch you, which you're grateful for. They don't sit really far away either, that's how you know they really don't have a problem with you. It's nice, it's cool. 

Then Jane pulls out her computer and starts to type, and you don't know what the fuck she's typing on there, you were listening to Jake talk, not her and Roxy, but you really like the noise her keyboard makes. She types fast and doesn't hesitate at all when she touches her keys and they're making the sweetest ass noises you've heard all day, and you sort of lean in to hear it better. She gives you a look, but you just wiggle your fingers in the air, and she goes back to typing. 

You end up falling asleep like that, with your head almost but not quite on Jane's shoulder and the sound of her keyboard and Jake and Roxy's murmuring filling the silence. And you still have to play and win the fucking game, but it was still nice to have a night that was good with your friends.

You know there won't exactly be a lot of good days like this, but that can't keep you from hoping. 

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com)


End file.
